Haven't been posting recently cos I've had trouble with the Police. I'm in Mallorca working the club scene. Fucking Spanish. Tighter than an Ethopians arsehole and no respect for Martin Chuzzleclit. Bastards.
In a club in Magaluf they threw fucking paella at me. At me. I've shared the bill with fucking Jim Bowen. I packed Martin away and left an horrendous crap in the lav. Me and Martin drank a whole bottle of Sambuca.
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